Months ago, my reply to "how are you?" would consist of an pause pregnant with angst, a conscious effort to not roll my eyes while saying a limp "I'm ok."
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Cramped like dry-humored sardines, the Theater Down South crew rode to Mall of Asia for our second carolling gig. I felt irritable that morning, if not sleepy, anxious, and a little off.
Before the sardine trip, Mikey sang about how my lips are "nice" right after singing about how he doesn't remember John smiling.
I was in a sorry state, truth be told. I was feeling tightness in my chest, my sniffling recquired something of an internal vacuum, I was a bit drowsy, and my dress was tattered on the seems of my sleeves. All that and I had to perform a song that I had only learned the previous day. That last bit reminds me of worship leading moments, but I'll save my thoughts about worship leadingin another post.
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This year has been a year of truth and turns. And just when things are going great, there is a tangle in the rope. Because of the specificity of this certain issue, I only allow myself to ask:
Can my life story be sold as a movie right?
Also:
There is no such thing as coincidence in your life, Pammu - Jammi
But everything will fall down pat, the same way Paul said in Acts: "do not worry for it will happen just as God has told me." The next thing I find very hilarious, if not the most important part of the pep talk: reality check. Paul continues: "Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island."
But I digress.
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I sang "Himig Pasko" today and I noticed an audience member's face light up when I began singing. Truth be told, that was the most nervous I was. My palms were sweating, I've only rehearsed it once, and I didn't know when to begin the repeat. Right after, I was shaking as if shivering in spite of feeling warm. My breathing took on a more heavy pace, and my face was spelling s t r e s s.
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So today, at this moment, if I am asked "how are you?" I'll say, as I've been saying a lot lately, "Tired but happy." Let happy also mean content, fulfilled, and maybe even loud.
