I once wore pixie short glasses and yellow rimmed hair

My only regret is not seeing this CGI wonder in IMAX. It's meant to be seen with in a IMAX; however, 3-D spectacles withstanding, it still is quite a piece of work.

The screenplay is almost perfect, though. The writers gave an interesting take on the curious Christianity question and tied it up with Unferth. But laying the Christian mantle on Unferth still raises questions, if not eyebrows (slave brutality, the use of the "new" religion as a last resort and therefore the willingness to abandon the pagan Norse religion altogether).

Grendel's mother is now doomed to be known as Angelina Jolie. Shallow critics hail at how real Jolie looks without realizing that she jars the screen and sticks out way too much to be the accursed Grendel's mother. But I get the point though. Scholars point out how the monster's mother, by way of allegory and symbolism, represent the deepest darkest fears that any hero (or, again, by way of scholarly analyzing the entire lot) faces and must triumph over. The built in stilettos don't seem to work, though.

While reviews claim that anyone who liked 200 may like this, I beg to disagree but only to a certain point. 300 was really more about fighting for a cause that any given collective believes in to the point of giving their lives for it. Beowulf on the other hand is a hero's exploit. An individual's own adventure for greatness, proof of a primordial American Dream, if you will. Zemeckis however takes too much of an experimental thrust on something that attempts an introspective on a timeless hero. I blame that on the screenwriters. One reviewer aptly voices it this way: "hmm, here's a universally renowned piece of writing that has been immensely popular on both a widespread and perhaps scholarly level for 60/1000/3000 years. I surely have the skill and intellect to improve on it! What the hell did that Homer loser know that I didn't get out of USC?"

As for true brilliance of spectacle, it does measure up. No one really cares much for story, as the original has other epics embedded in it. I hope Zemeckis' next motion capture project takes on a better height. He seems to be getting better at this.